WOW!... Since February I completely stopped posting here it feels like it's been ages. The reason is I was emotionally and physically distracted with reality. I was quite busy dealing with my crazy schedule over the past four months for example; I start the week with my morning classes between  9:00 am - 11:30 am than go to work from 12:00 pm - 6:00 pm and than out to my Co-op replacement from 7:00 pm - 10:00 pm

A lot of things happened throughout the past four months even though I was extremely busy I still managed to give myself time to catch up with the fashion world. I decided to volunteer again during the WMC (World Master Card) Toronto Fashion Week. I signed in for the evening shows because due to my work schedule, anyways It was such intense week for me I had to change quickly and rush back to the show.

Overall the presentation was amazing I get to see a lot of interesting designers this year. They were all so incredibly talented  and well put together. I was so glad that I went this year it really helped me a lot as a student which also as a young artist to observe everything through my own eyes. It really opened my mind to progress to even more better things for the future. Also I went to attend the FAT (Fashion Art Toronto) Fashion Week held at April 2014 and again I was very impressed by the amount of hard work these designers put on their collections. 

I hope that one day I could be as good as these designers and to able to express my own creativity during these wonderful events. I want to be ME I want to show the FASHION WORLD who I am what I stand for and what I truly believe in. I want the good life but I don't want an easy ride what I want is to work for it feel the blood and sweat on my fingertips that's what I want for me. I think in order to become a better designer you have to work extremely hard. The road gets tougher and trickier but you have to be aware of the changes.


•  A BIG thank you goes out to my special friend Chris Mello for inviting me to Holt Renfrew private event presenting Zac Posen's 2014 Collection. I get the opportunity to meet with two wonderful and very talented people super model Anna Cleveland and extraordinary designer Zac Posen.

•   My Birthday treatment at Toula Restaurant & Bar, the view from lake and CN tower was uplifting!
 The result of my birthday week was unforgettable right before the day of my birthday my phone get stolen by a stranger plus I had to experience a punche and a hard kick from a crazy bus passenger while I was waiting in the line.  

•   Excuse my silly selfies but these were taken during the PHENOMENAL weekend at world pride 2014! I am very lucky to feel this freedom in such an amazing country and a wonderful city that I'm living in. I'm very BLESSED to live in this part of the world.



Music Mood!

It's super cold outside - the perfect excuse to motivate myself is by listening to my current favorite songs.  I usually like a song for it’s meaningful lyrics, or the singer because I want to find their meaning, I want to know what’s really behind them, and I want to relate them to myself

However it’s a new year and it’s a new start - I want to keep myself stay motivated and happy all the time. If I’m sad I don’t want to sink myself in my room in even more sadness but I want to use my sadness as fuel and inspiration, to help me progress forward

Venus G.U.Y Sexxx Dreams • Swine Donatella Fashion
(Do What You Want)
Write what you want
Say what you want 'bout me
If you’re wondering
Know that I'm not sorry

Do what you want
What you want with my body
What you want with my body

In The Stars Light Me Up
All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend
Down to ride till the happy end, is me and my girlfriend
I wanna feel the sun, the waves, the wind in my face
The speed, the chase, na na na
I wanna feel the sun, the waves, just wanna cross the states, making up as we go
That's how's gon' be, young wild and free
Not gonna slow down
Up to the max, until we crush, we're not gonna stop now

Super Love Nuclear Seasons
(Marina And The Diamonds)
Primadonna Teen Idle Electra Heart
Elliot Around You Sea
Who made part, the sky, the sea
So the fall, for the laugh, with me
Who made part, the sky, the sea
So the fall, for the laugh, with me
Who made part, the sky, the sea
So the fall, for the laugh, with me

Won The Styling Competition

Faze magazine was hosting a fashion show and they were selecting 4 stylist to compete at the "Be Extraordinary" event. The challenge was to come up with 6 unique looks with different personalities at the runway. When I found out that I was chosen as one of the stylist I was very excited but yet I was facing a difficult challenges before the fashion show. Over 3 days I was visiting the doctor because of my health issue, I wasn't sure what the problem exactly was but all the paint was caused from my stomach. My health situation was killing me to get prepare for the fashion show and you have no idea how many times I was consider to give up on the show. On top of that I was dealing with my new job, I didn't wanted to show my obscene during the first week of my shift because it's very unprofessional to get all the negative attention from everyone.

Fortunately I didn't let myself down because after all I always loved facing new and tough challenges in my life. I always believed an a extreme hard work and that's what makes you a great successful person in life. If you don't love what your doing you will automatically full behind. And the only reason why I entered this competition was I wanted to challenge myself how far I can get with this career. I do not believe in competition I believe in trying new challenges in order to experience a new opportunities in life. Anyways, yes I still managed to pull everything in last minute and that's what makes everything a bit more sweeter. Of course I attended the fashion show with a positive impression towards myself and other stylists also I was being very humbled and kind to everybody. And YES I get the opportunity to be the first styling assistance for the Faze magazine and won $500 price with $400 Sennheiser headphone. 



• Concert Goer • Life of Party • Athlete • Fashionista • Romantic • Prom Gala

Hired At Hudson's Bay!!

Last month when to applied for Hudson's Bay at the yorkdale shopping center, it's a large retail shopping mall in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I was looking for a part time job during the evening since I have school in the morning. Luckily I get to do the interview right on the spot after I give out my resume. They asked me typical questions on the interview about my job experience. After I did the interview they told me they'll call me back for the second interview to see the manager if their still hiring. One week later I received a call back from them that the manager wanted to meet me for the interview. Finally I was not stressing about them contacting me back but I was still nervous about the next challenge.

when I arrived to the store the manager guided me to his office, I was kinda nervous at first but then when we continue to talk he didn’t mention anything about my work experience which means  I already got hired in the position of sales person on floor. I was completely relaxed after I heard that from him and after the meeting he told me to attend the training the next day. I am extremely excited to be part of the team because I love working in the Hudson’s Bay store and as you guys know I love working in the fashion department. My experience as a fashion stylist will give me the opportunity to help my customers to find their needs without having any hard time. 



Welcome to the world that few of us can only see

I know at some point some of us been through with a lot of challenges in the past and maybe some of us still experience them. We might be involved in a situation where some of us get labeled; for example our (sexuality, race & money problems). Obviously we’re thinking about who we truly are as a person because of so much hate and negative attention we are receiving all the time. We most likely feel down & discouraged about ourselves and most importantly we feel like we are nothing or nobody in this world. We may think that nothing belongs to us, or sometimes we may try to play a character in the face of society and we’re thinking that would hide our misery. We truly don’t want to pretend to be somebody else but we choose to do it. It’s because the amount of negative attention we’re always getting because we apparently are not acceptable to the society; we’re different. Doesn't that hurt you when you feel that way? I know for myself it did hurt and it upset me when I was in middle school. I was a very awkward kid and I was naturally a bit feminine and although I did my best to hide it in order to conform to the societal values, I wasn't very good at it. Thus, my behavior gave the other kids the license to judge my sexual orientation.  I constantly received negative attention from half the people from my school. They were very curious about my sexuality and a lot of them were against it. It hurts me when people disrespected me and called me names just to put me down and they knew I wouldn't say anything back to them. As a result, my self esteem was greatly affected and I tried to hide my problems by trying to pretend to be somebody that I wasn't.
I always felt guilty for lying to myself but I was helpless because I believed that suffering from the inside was all that I could do, I had no other option. As the years went by I was bottling the anger and sadness inside; I was miserable and lost from within. People were trying to get to know me but I couldn't let my real true self out so easily—the real self that I had been trying to suppress, because during the process of trying to conform to the society, I had an extremely hard time accepting myself for who I was at that time. Another reason why I couldn't let myself live the way I wanted to live was because of my family. I came from a strong religious background. My family never talks about homosexual people and I can’t even imagine them ever accepting it. I know if I lived my life the way I wanted to live, everything would have been more difficult for me. I was afraid that I was going to lose my relationship with my family and I was also worried of losing everyone in my school as well. I know it’s an extremely difficult time for a lot of us to deal with situations as such, especially when we have no one to go up to and talk about our feelings and our life.  On many roads of life, we struggle a lot to cover the truth about ourselves and to make sure no one make fun of us or not put us down. We get to the point where we realize that we’re being very unfaithful to ourselves. We’re being really unhealthy, angry, depressed which will make us very lonely. We come to the point where we ask ourselves: am I doing the right thing for myself? Or is it really worth it to pretend to be something that I’m really not? As a result a lot of us will come to a conclusion about it; we will realize that living under pressure and a miserable life is not going to take us anywhere in our future.
And then, we will over think about everything to make sure if we are doing the right thing yet again. At some point some of us are still thinking it’s impossible to live in our own world because we’re still wondering whose going to be there for us or who’s going to be on our side to support us till the end. And a lot of us have been beyond overwhelmed by everything, feeling really scared and terrified about what will finally and ultimately end up happening to us. The more we deeply think about it the more complicated the situations seems to get. But simply thinking about after all the years we went through with all the people in our life and constantly asking ourselves: does this person inspire us, genuinely love us and support us unconditionally? We wanted nothing but positive influences in our life someone who really accepts us no matter if we are gay, straight, poor or rich. This is all many of us would want; the freedom of expression and wonderful people who will learn to accept everyone as they are. This is all I would want. I was always a highly creative and a very emotionally intelligent individual. If I didn't have the feminine, intuitive, empathic side to me, I would not have been the creative talented individual that I am today. I believe I would've seen the world differently. I wouldn't have been the same.

We’re all constantly afraid to truly embrace ourselves for who we really are because of our societal expectations and values. But to be honest, it’s not worth it. Don’t fight it. Accept and love yourself for who you are and don’t be afraid to shine. It’s when you truly find yourself and embrace it, that’s when magic will start to happen. You will find yourself to have a lot of inner strength to pursue your dreams and goals even when things seem impossible. You will find strength to turn the impossible to possible. This is what I truly believe.

                                   + PHOTO CREDIT

Photographer.Raissa Bi Model.Jenna Borisevich
Makeup/Hair.Michelle Emiliani  
                    Wardrobe Stylist.Aziz Vivant            
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